Where are you in your pandemic journey, sweet friend? Has your obsession with sourdough evolved into an obsession with Star Trek, or have you found yourself adapting back into older more settled routines that are less about a productivity panic, but more about you? I hope that’s the case. I feel like I’ve been ebbing back into that space myself, where my evenings have become more and more centered around doing things that help my brain feel less like an overly shaken snow globe with its repetitive tune on full blast.
I was listening to Ashely from bestdressed’s latest YouTube video today, “how 2020 has me feeling,” and she talked about how she was taking the necessary time to process the upheaval, and in many ways the trauma, of this year. It made me think, wait, have any of us actually been able to do that? I know I haven’t, life is still a process of survival most weeks, as new emergencies and tragedies continuously plague the news headlines. It feels like instead of taking time to reflect, we’re all instead just quickly and quietly adapting to a new world of constant anxiety and frazzled thoughts. It’s easy to forget it’s the world running on empty, not just us.
So be kind to yourself today. Consider perfecting the art of doing nothing when you can because — as my best friend Imali shared with me over our last phone call — show yourself some grace. Donate where and when you can — your time, your skills, and your money. And keeping putting good things back into the world because it needs it now more than ever.
I don’t have the words to make sense of much of this year. I’ve decided that feels like an unnecessary pressure to contextualize something that needs to be felt rather than rationalized. But I’ve been recording it in different ways, in my journal, through photos, and here on this special space because I also know it’s a defining time for both myself and the world. A time where many of us, faced with a consistent feeling of hopelessness, have been asked to learn and stand up both for ourselves and our mental healths, and for others, to make changes that we can, changes that needs to be made.
While the year continues to surprise and with it, our needs and interests and anxieties (well actually, those might stay kind of the same) continue to evolve, I wanted to pay homage to the months of 2020 past and share what’s been on my mind this year — according to my Google search history.
Is my cat tired of seeing me?
Can you make bread using pancake mix? (The answer is no.)
What online games can you play over Zoom?
Why does Zoom keep crashing on my computer?
Who is Bruce Springsteen married to?
Who is Creme Puff the cat?
What are the number of new coronavirus cases today in New York City?
How do you tune a ukelele?
How often do you have to retune a ukelele?
How do you customize a WordPress email?
Is my cat sad?
Why is my chest so tight?
What helps with a toothache?
What are Lily Allen’s defining moments?
What are the best upstate hiking spots?
What do I need to know about staying in a tiny house upstate?
How long before a smoke detector battery dies?
Everything about ‘I May Destroy You.’
What are the signs of gaslighting?
Reviews of ‘Lovecraft Country’ episode 4.
Where can I donate to black-led voting rights organizations?
What burlesque shows are in Bushwick?
Is the Queens Night Market still open?
How many acres have burned in the west coast brushfires so far?
What if my love language?
How do I sign up to be a poll worker?
Anthropologie dinner plates.
When are the NBA playoffs?
How do I apply for a New York license?
When do I put a lid on something simmering and when do I keep it off?
Where to volunteer in violence prevention in the city?
What is the deal with natural deodorant?
Why is my mint plant turning black?
What publications are there on Medium?
What is the ending song in Fleabag?
What is the strawberry dress?
Work from home routines that work.
What channel is Buffy the Vampire Slayer on?
Why am I still feeling like I don’t have enough time? How do I slow down?
Kerry Washington Scandal GIFs.
And so has this blog post. Thanks for reading!